Mental Toughness: How to become cooperative

Let's face it, many of us live in the perception of a competitive workplace, a competitive dating scene and a competitive life.

The fact of the matter is, in all areas of life, those who compete are generally losing, and those who cooperate are generally winning.

Its kind of unfair, that the ones who the status of "winning" means so much to, almost never do - and the ones who are joining together to make a collaborative, cooperative piece of awesome on this planet are the ones generally "winning".

I see this a lot in martial arts, as well; when people start focusing on "getting that next belt" their performance invariably starts to go down hill.  They start training for me, instead of for themselves.  They start trying to prove themselves to me, instead of improve themselves.

When we take the focus off of the improvement, or the project, and start putting the focus on the reward or the big payoff, invariably the project itself suffers.

Competition comes from a lack & scarcity mindset.  It sends out the feeling that there can only be one winner, that life is scarce of awards etc.  In reality, the biggest winners are the ones who help others to win.  Think about it in financial terms:  Who would you want to give your money to?  An investor who keeps 90%, or an investor who keeps 10%?  Who else feels the same way?  So how many people would give the latter all their money for their amazing returns?

The same is true with praise, with recognition, and with project management.

A great theme to live by, is that when things go right, they did it.  When things go okay, we did it.  When things go wrong, I did it.  Taking responsibility for your own reality takes guts.  It doesn't mean that your mistake can't be hiring the dufus who threw the monkeywrench into your gears, and, it doesn't mean that taking responsibility for that can't include firing his sorry butt.

All it means is that you own up to things, and spread the wealth.

Remember:  Wealth is merely a measurement for how much value you are able to give to the world.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts
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