How to have Awesome Thinking Part 1

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In order to have an awesome mind, you must:

1. Operate from objective reality
2. Raise your blueprint
3. Cultivate the ability for sustained concentration
4. Drive yourself with emotional motivators
5. Learn to separate Truth, from Fact
6. Love growth
7. Embrace Relativity
8. Compartmentalize Emotions & Projects
9. Practice Gratitude
10. Embrace Adversity
11. Be Classy
12. Embrace Fear
13. Be Consistent
14. Understand the difference between Logic & Emotion
15. Be willing to suspend your disbelief

This is not simply a list, but rather, a list of questions for you to meditate on both now, and once you have finished this book.  It is a quick reference guide for you to take stock of various aspects of your life.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts
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Mental Toughness: How to "achieve" mastery

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Recognize that mastery is a journey, not a destination. Recognize that the difference between outstanding and very good is about 2% in ability and 8000% in results. Recognize that will is more important.  Belief, more important, than means or knowledge.

Desire plus sacrifice plus discipline equals preparation.
Preparation plus success equals confidence.
Mental toughness plus pride equals perseverance.

If you have confidence and persevere, you will always have the edge.

If you have the edge, you will succeed.

Eventually.

Recommended Listening: Get The Edge
Recommended Reading: The Edge: The Guide to Fulfilling Dreams, Maximizing Success and Enjoying a Lifetime of Achievement.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts
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Mental Toughness: How to rid yourself of the need for approval of others

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"I am responsible to my employees, customers, and business associates; to be honest, sincere, and to act with integrity.


But I am not responsible for their attitudes or behavior towards me.  I hope they like me.  It's more pleasant that way, but if not, it's not my problem." - Bill Gove

Here's the thing, if you take a stand on any issue, those who hear about your stand will love you for it, hate you for it, and be completely indifferent towards you about it.

Anybody who accomplishes anything, acquires fans, enemies and people who don't really care one way or the other.

The alternative is worse.  If you don't take a stand, then you'll be trying to please everyone - if you try to please everyone, you'll have to take multiple stands.  If you take multiple stands, then you'll also offend everyone.

Which means if you don't take a stand, EVERYONE will hate you.  So, you might as well offend about 50% of the population and befriend the other half, yeah?

Letting other people dictate your beliefs, is like letting someone else drive your car.  Its fine, but don't get all huffy if they smash it up.

Take a good look at yourself and answer honestly:  How high is my need to be approved?  How does it impact my life?  Who would I be if nobody else were watching?

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: Learn how to say "no"

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We all must be ruthless with our time.  For it is something that can be leveraged and purchased, yet never increased incrementally.  You only have so much - no matter how efficiently it is used, it is used nonetheless.

We have a limited time on this planet, you and I.  How we choose to use it, be it writing in an effort to help, or reading in an effort to grow, we are all using time at this very moment.

It is perfectly fine, and great to be generous with your time, so long as it is aligned with your life's purpose.  Mine, involves teaching, which means that I can be generous with my writing and other methods I employ of passing on knowledge while inspiring creative action.

I do not feel guilty in saying "no" to someone when I perceive their request to be outside of my life's purpose, and neither should you.  Their request is within someone else's life's purpose.  They'll do it better than us, anyway, as they're driven by their own passions.

Do not perceive someone saying "no" to you as selfish or arrogant, it is merely a prioritizing.  Even Superman can't save everyone, so, he chooses to primarily save those he's best suited to save.  His powers are better used stopping asteroids from hitting the Earth, than breaking up a mugging.  When there's a mystery to be solved or strategy to be created, he delegates that to Batman.  Batman, in turn, delegates the heavy lifting to Superman, and the world is better off.

Ask yourself:  Is there an activity in my life I am doing right now that isn't giving me the results or satisfaction I thought it would?  Should I discontinue it?  Saying no is a skill, which is often underdeveloped.

Recommended Reading: The 4 Hour Work Week

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: The importance of rewarding yourself

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Setting goals is common, and rewarding ourselves is common - though it is considerably more rare when the two meet.

That is, those who set goals are often less adept at rewarding themselves, and those adept at rewarding themselves are often in need of better goals.

So then, what we must do is set up a reward system for taking positive action towards our goals.  Our brains work on pleasure & pain principals.  Even something as small as an M&M can help push someone towards finishing a goal.

However, one key point of understanding is not to reward results, but rather, actions.

Have targets, certainly.  But taking 100% dedicated, motivated, passionate & clear action towards those goals is what should be rewarded.  Mistakes happen, accidents occur, but if your brain links up success with trying its hardest, you will succeed in the long run.

Try taking something you've been procrastinating (a goal) and change it into a target where you want to get "somewhere close to it" and, focus on setting up rewards for dedicated action TOWARDS said target.

If all your goals become targets towards a better life; stepping stones or baby-steps if you will, then procrastination simply does not occur.  You have no avoidance because the only way you can FAIL is by procrastination.  Action = reward, and so you keep moving forward.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: Learn how to master your emotional state & increase your personal vibration towards abundance & success

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Most of us spend so little time analyzing our own performance, that we don't truly understand the ups and downs, and the reasons for them.

Have you ever had a moment where everything clicked?  Where everything went right, and everything just flowed naturally?  People loved you, you were awesome and the world was your oyster.

What did you do to get there?

What if you could be there... all the time?

Being able to honestly provide yourself with feedback about... yourself, is a priceless skill.

Being able to raise your rate of vibration, that is, the level of your passion, energy, enthusiasm, belief, confidence and, often most important, clarity AT WILL is an extraordinary skill that ALL top performers posses.

Using neuro-linguistic conditioning & neuro-developmental technology is an excellent way to do this.

Homework: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: Learn how and why to be accountable

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Learning accountability is crucial.  Many of us see ourselves as victims of life, and life's randomness.

Nope.

Actually, our lives are simply a collaboration of things which vibrate at a similar frequency to us.  We attract that which we are, and our environment is simply a reflection of that which we focus on.  (sorry).

Many people immediately make objections to this statement, and, I understand (and have made) those objections myself.  For now, suspend your disbelief and pretend that this is true, just for a while.

Why?  Well, enough people over the years who I've grown to respect all say this.  In fact, every successful person I've ever met, or read about, says this.

So...  let's just go with it for now, okay?

Great.

Take responsibility for your life.  You are not a victim - you control your destiny and your reality.  What you focus on is crucial.  If you have a crummy life, focus on the solutions and where you want to go - put your energy into solving the situation.  Hundreds of self made millionaires and philanthropists have come from crappy environments.  You can too.

Get your head out of the crap called the scarcity mindset.  Focusing on what you don't have sucks, and makes you feel sucky.  Focusing on your ideal life gets you motivated, gets you pumped up, and, most importantly, gets you taking action towards it.  You'll see opportunities you would have otherwise been too busy complaining to see.  You'll be brighter and happier, and people will respond to you differently.

In essence:  Life is better once you step up and take control of it, and recognize that you've had control of it this entire time.

Step up.

Homework:  Personal Power II

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: Learn how to give & accept praise

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For some of us, giving praise is difficult.  For others, receiving praise is difficult.

Both, are equally important.

I'm going to say that again, because it is something that eludes many of us.

BOTH are equally important.

If someone compliments you, simply say "thank you." do not return a compliment of your own.  Why?  Because this robs them of their compliment.  It takes away from the sincerety of their statement, and turns it into a game of compliment tag.

"nice dress"
"oh, thank you.  I like your shoes."
"oh yeah?  Well... well I like your hair!"
"OH YEAH!  WELL... THANKS!"
"FINE THEN!"

Seriously, for some of us, simply accepting a compliment without instantly and reflexively returning one of our own is a serious challenge.

On the flipside, giving compliments is a challenge for many of us.  Being overly critical of people and never dolling out praise is equally as heinous.

Balance is essential.  Be genuine.  Give genuine praise, and look to give it often.  Don't be insincere or overly flirtatious; simply be genuine.  If someone gave a great speech, tell them so.  If someone wrote something you found inspiring, tell them so.

Unexpressed gratitude is like a gift left unopened.  Compliments should be expressions of genuine gratitude.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to harness the power of persistence

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If you never truly decide what you want, you can't really blame anybody, or any thing, for your lack of it.

Again, I'm not talking about money.  Money is a means.  I'm talking about an end.  What do you want, and why?  Your big why will provide you with experiences that would not even occur to someone without it.

Persistence comes to those with a big why like apathy comes to those without it.  Easily, and effortlessly.

Without your big why, persistence seems like work.  With it, apathy seems like agony.

Follow your passion, your huge reason for living.  Losing persistence?  Fan the flames of your passion.  Get specific, and get motivated.

Homework: (that's right, if you've read this far, it isn't "recommended" any more.  You're taking action, which means I'm going to call it like it is. You know as well as I do, that these "recommended resources" are homework.  Are you persistent enough to acquire, read, and study them?  Is your why big enough to acquire your own bibliography of awesome?  Perhaps its time to go over this blog and scan for homework you thought was just a recommendation, earlier...?)
Read The Go-Getter

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to be at peace with yourself

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Peace of mind is not something sought.  It is not something that you can attain or capture.  In fact, like a cat chasing a laser pointer - the mere act of chasing it nearly assures its retreat.

How then, do we attain peace of mind?  Simple:  Do everything you can, at 100%.  There are no regrets when you act in this way consistently.  You know you've done what you can.  Let the cards fall where they may, you will have no regrets.

If you are aware that you are not giving 100% you will be less tired, perhaps - but far more anxious about outcomes, and be far more fearful of the future.

Would you rather have a smile that you've worked hard and grown as a human, or a worried, furrowed brow and a sleepless night?

Win through your effort, through the journey, not from the outcome.  You goal is, and always has been, to grow and experience life.  The rest of these sub-goals are simply fabrications of a deluded consciousness.

Be honest with yourself, and give your all.  Live with passion.

Recommended Resource: Notes to Myself: my struggle to become a person

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: Learn how to create win-win deals

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Similar to the art of honesty, you have to look at this as a long term life-choice.

Let's say you dealt with two people.  One, looked out for you.  S/he was kind, helpful, honest, and created a win/win situation.  The other, got about 6% more out of you, and you felt like it was a grueling experience.

Who would you talk about highly, deal with consistently, and support?  Who would you be inclined to help, or send business to?

Magnify that over a decade, and you will see why those who create win/win deals always out pace those who do not.

If someone beings you information or product which makes you a fortune, reward them.  Not only will it encourage them, but everyone who hears your generosity as well.

Plus, it feels good.

Recommended Reading: The Secrets of Power Negotiating

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to be creative

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Treat your ideas as if they were the children of your soul.

(Because they are)

Stealing from one is plagiarism.  Stealing from many is research.

You've already watched the movie Peaceful Warrior by now (you ARE doing your homework... riiiiight?) so I don't need to go into specifics about daily observations.

However, you can magnify the beauty of that message with specific questions.

To re-state:  You can take the gift of that movie, and apply it to ANYTHING.

Inspiration, most of all.  Presuppose success and ask a question in relation to your creative ponderings.

"What is the hidden opportunity in today's laundry?" was a question that was asked by a person who invented the fast and easy way to fold a shirt.  "What else could I use this failure for?" was a question asked of the person who invented the post-it note (by accident - they were trying to make a super adhesive)

What is your creative project?  Immediately refine it down to its basic component:  Making the world better for who and in what way?  Ask yourself how every day objects and situations are meant to help you towards it.  You'll be surprised at all the "coincidences"

"The way that sock fell from my dryer made me think of that video game where the fellow falls down and bounces off things which made me realize that the answer to my question isn't, in fact, to add more circuit boards, but, in fact, to re-wire the device so that it can overlap... YES!"

Never underestimate the power of a great idea, or a focused mind.  Allow your subconscious to solve your problems.  Your reality is that which you focus on the most.  So focus on solving, focus on growth, focus on creation.

Need a creativity boost?  Watch this

Or, read Axe Cop or check out robotart.net

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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The Key to Awesome: The Step by Step Guide to Having an Outstanding Life

Mental Toughness: How, and why, to be honest

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While for some, teaching the "why" of honesty is a simple matter, there are those of us who have been taught for the majority of our lives that "nice people finish last"

This simply isn't the case.  While dishonest people may occasionally cheat and win in the short term, as soon as they trip and fall, you'll find that not too many people will help them to their feet.

In the long run, the benefits of honesty far outweigh any short term benefits of dishonesty.

Besides, "Character is itself a fortune." - Samuel Smiles

I believe what he is meaning to say, is that the wealth of life is that which you become and create, not in what you amass.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am very pro-wealth.  I simply believe that it is one ingredient to an awesome individual.  Spoil the honesty, you spoil the awesome.

All too often we associate having more money with a better life.  Money amplifies your life, like a relationship does.

If you're angry and abusive, a relationship amplifies that.  If you're dishonest and unethical, money amplifies that.

If you're loving and giving, a relationship amplifies that.  If you're abundant and helpful, money amplifies that.

When you squeeze an apple, you get apple juice.  When you squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice.

Be honest, be beautiful, be amazing, be awesome, and let wealth and love magnify that.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to harness the power of humility and, how to be humble

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Do not underestimate the POWER of... humility.

Humility is one of the most effective approaches for improving your influence on the world.

If you strive for excellence, you'll want to strive for humility, as well.  There's nothing wrong with self promotion.  The squeaky wheel does indeed get the grease.  Instead, think of humility as stating the facts accurately, without exaggeration, and, whenever possible, give all those involved the credit they are due.

Many "self made" millionaires are still grateful for the hundreds of hours of help they've received from everyone involved.

People ask me if Shinka is my creation, and, while I answer yes, I assure them that it wouldn't be here without countless others of whom inspired, encouraged, and helped it into existence.  From mentors to family members to friends to helpful strangers, Shinka wouldn't have won Richmond's best martial arts school without the selfless dedication from those warriors.

Braggarts essentially say "I'm better than you" which, who wants to hear that??

Instead, be gracious.  Thank people who present you with awards, and recognize their importance and significance, and, leave it at that.

There is a big difference between inner, supreme confidence, and outer, supreme arrogance.  And it is often in the presentation.

Recommended reading: Attitudes of Gratitude

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to attract abundance and prosperity

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Its a cliche, and its true.

Give.

Imagine that you were a Sensei (martial arts instructor) and you were teaching a class, and you saw one of the students helping one of the other students with their technique.  What would your response be?  Something along the lines of gratitude and praise, yes?

The trick is, don't help people for the praise.  Just help.

Don't give "back" to the community.  Just give.

Reciprocity is a neat thing.  When you learn to simply look for ways to help people, the world just treats you better.

For a great charity to consider, check out this article I wrote: "Stop Giving to Charity!"

As well as, check out Nido Qubein, and impressive figure in the art of philanthropy.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to forgive

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Revenge is a dish you don't even want to prepare, let alone serve (at any temperature)

Let it go.  (easy to say, but how to do it?)

Love is the ultimate power source.  We've talked about it as a motivator, and as a fuel.  It is also a powerful tool when it comes to forgiveness.

There are some truly horrible people in this world.  Rapists, murderers etc.  How can we possibly forgive these people?

The human being is not a logical creature.  It is an emotional creature.

What that means, is that you don't need to understand, exactly, why they did, what they did.  You also don't have to say they're right (or wrong).  All you have to do, is let it go.  Your anger only hurts you, not them.

Expecting human beings to be logical is like expecting computers to be emotional.  Its a nice fantasy, but the truth is we just aren't.

People do the best that they can, in the place that they are.  Nobody is evil.  Even Hitler had reasons for doing the atrocities that he did.  And, to him, they seemed justifiable, and even noble.

Understand, you don't have to see things from their perspective, or forget what they've done.  All you have to do is let go of the emotional weight of anger.

A funny article on the subject you may want to read is: Forgiveness vs Dead Guinea Pigs.

Ultimately, understand that forgiveness takes away the power that this person holds over you.  It is a fear-based weakness to hate, and it is a love-based strength to forgive.

Don't let them have power over you any more.  Let them go and live well.

Recommended Reading: Forgiveness: How to make peace with your past and get on with your life

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to have fun, be fulfilled and get rich

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Most people look at people more successful than them, and believe them to be these super self-disciplined, self-sacrificing, achievement and success MACHINES.

Now, granted, those are all nice skills, and they never hurt.

The truth, though, is that often people who are living their dream lives and having a blast, were doing so when they started, too.  It might have taken a bit of sweat to get going but...  What motivated them was fun.

The truly successful have a lot more fun (which is often work for other people, mind you) in their lives.  They've found something that they love, and have monetized it.  Simple.

Imagine two caregivers.  One loves the child, the other despises it.  They both try their best to be great parents.  Which kid would you vote on becoming a more well adjusted, happy individual?

A business or lifestyle is no different!

Find a "child"/life that you LOVE, and care for it.  Monetize what you love to do!

Go to work and smile.  "I'm off to play!"  I teach at Shinka Martial Arts, the best dojo in the world.  I love my students, and literally look forward to work every time I go in.  There are days where my muscles might be sore, or I might be in a crummy mood because of one thing or another, but my kids (which, by the way, is what I call all my students, even the ones older than me!) are always there to put a smile on my face.

I absolutely, positively, LOVE teaching martial arts.  I used to PAY OTHER PEOPLE so that I could teach at their school.  So of COURSE I teach martial arts for a living!!

An excellent question to ask yourself, is "how much fun am I having in my life?" also, ask yourself this:  "Could I eliminate some things from my life that aren't fun?"

How much would it cost you to get some of the less fun things in your life delegated?  What would that free you up to do?

Because here's the thing:   WHAT YOU LOVE IS SOMEONE ELSE'S HATE/WORK.  Look at public speaking.   I love public speaking - for some, its more terrifying than DEATH!

Take what you love, and monetize it as soon as possible.  I guarantee, someone would hate doing what you do, and would greatly love to delegate those actions to you.  Soooo... what do you dislike, and, who would want to play at it for you?

(bonus: They'll do it way better than you - because they love it!!)

Recommended Homework:  Find someone who glows when working.  Find someone who absolutely loves what they do, and it seeps through every one of their pores while they do it.  Hang out with them.

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to achieve the ultimate motivation

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There are two ways to motivate.  Fear, and love.  While fear may work for short bursts, love is eternal, and will get you out of bed in the morning filled with passion.

Fear is an excellent motivator, but it causes a great deal of pain in the process.

Love, on the other hand, gets the same (often better) job done, with a smile on your face.

Also, if you take into account the law of attraction, you don't really want to focus too much on what you're avoiding, and rather, on what you're attaining.

The pain of losing should never be greater than the joy of winning.  Rig the game, and play to win.

I don't mean cheat and lie, I mean change your inner rules.  Make winning something you achieve by trying, not by any judgement.  Most people don't even play the game.  Win by playing.

Recommended Viewing: Peaceful Warrior

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to do what you love & get rich

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In every walk of life, profession, business and career, there are outstanding individuals.

The majority of these people are not awesome at what they do because they toil and work away at it (although the practice towards perfection takes hard work and effort) they are are this way because, as a general rule, they love what they do.

Put simply, for them, work, is play.

Some say that the awesome don't pick their fields; instead, that their fields pick them.  As if they were simply born to do them.  They love it.

My question to you, becomes:  What do you love to do?

If my child told me they wanted to be a doctor, I would say "great!  Why?" and if they answered "because they make a lot of money" I would discourage them from becoming a doctor.  If they answered "because I really would love helping people" I would immediately get them to write up a bunch of questions in regards to their ideal work day, and then, get them to interview some of the better doctors in the area.

If their fantasy matched up with the reality, I would do everything in my power to help them achieve their goal.

Take stock of your life.  Do you do what you do for the money, or for the juice?  If its for the juice of life, how could you multiply that juice and affect more people?

The truth of the matter is, from singing and dancing to telling jokes or investing in real estate, if you find someone at the top of the heap, they're generally driven by passion and love for what they do, and they're friggen' loaded.

Talk to them.

Success leaves clues.

"I'd rather be a failure at something I love, than a success at something I don't" - George Burns

Recommended Reading:  Work happy live healthy

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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Mental Toughness: How to become more enthusiastic

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Be honest with yourself - are you more enthusiastic about your own accomplishments, or those of a fictional character on TV, or a celebrity's love life/social mishaps?

Turn off the TV, and take an hour to really find out what you want your life to be.  Get a great, long term goal, and make it into some great, short term goals.  Get motivated with your life.

Also, don't live for "some day".  Some day is now.  Don't suffer so you can one day retire - its a fallacy that has corrupted millions of people into drudgery.

Take charge of your life, and find a way to make huge sums of money off of what you love to do.  What is your passion?  How could you multiply it to help as many people as possible?

Better yet, do this simple exercise:  Ask yourself what are your top five activities in your life for which you have utter passion and enthusiasm?

Next to each, write a few names of people who make money doing those things.  Don't know?  Look.  Then, talk to them.

Recommended Reading: Do what you love and the money will follow

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts

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